why I spent the last three months spring cleaning my business

This post is the kick-off to a celebration of ten years of PLUME.

Over the next few months leading up to 2024, I will be looking back at how I got here, sharing a few lessons learned along the way, and what, if anything, I would do differently going forward. It’s also an opportunity to share a little behind the curtain of my life and journey as a creative small business owner.

Ten years ago, I was methodically working my way through the mother of all to-do lists as I prepared to pack up my house and move - temporarily - several thousand miles away to “figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up.”  The following six months in London and Paris are the fun and glamorous part of the story of how I became a creative small business owner.  The six months that preceded that flight across the Atlantic have always been a little harder to put into words.  Because from the outside (and even from the inside), I had a great life.  Interesting and lucrative job, check! A cute house in a great neighborhood complete with a perfect dog, check and check! Active social life with great friends, check! Olivia Pope-worthy wardrobe (remember this was 2012, season 1 OP was everything), check, check, check.  So why did I walk (or rather fly) away from it?

Let’s set the scene: I was working in public affairs, a field that was a logical fit for my education (BA in Poli-Sci, MA in Communications), experience (5 years in various roles on Capitol Hill) and overall skill set (writing and researching, strategic thinking, ability to stay organized while multi-tasking, and inclination to care a lot about whatever I was assigned to work on).

About ten years into my career, I was starting to feel a little bit like Goldilocks: there was something just a little not quite right about each line on my resume. And, tellingly, when I looked to the future and the natural progression of what was a promising career, I just couldn’t see myself being happy. As my former boss and still dear friend told me when I confessed I was considering quitting the field, “There’s a difference between liking what you do and being good at what you do. You are very good at this job, but you don’t like it, and eventually, that is going to take its toll.”

I had basically spent my entire 20s trying to force-fit a square peg into a round hole

So when I woke up on January 1, 2013, sick as a dog (not hungover, properly sick) and filled with dread at yet another year of going to work where I somehow managed to use all of my sick days while leaving vacation days on the table, feeling completely directionless, overwhelmed and exhausted, I knew something had to change.

I am incredibly lucky that I have people in my life who could also see that, including my mom, who knew that my mind was already leaping to conclusions that I couldn’t just quit because this was the plan and I had NO ALTERNATE PLAN, and simply said:

Instead of worrying about what you’ll do next, think about what you would do if you could just retire for six months or a year, how would you spend your time?

I immediately blurted out that I would go back to London (where I’d spent a semester abroad Junior year) and study photography and live in Paris for a month and eat my weight in bread.

And that is how, after a few more conversations with her and my most trusted “advisors,” I put in my notice, booked a flight to London, and prepared to embark on my own version of Eat Pray Love for 6 months, including going to photography school ( Yes, I promise, I realize how immensely privileged and lucky I am to have been able to pull this off financially, logistically, and otherwise, and no, I do not necessarily recommend following this path if you are on the precipice of a pivot!)

This gets us to May of 2013 and the aforementioned To-Do list.  That list was a necessity in that a LOT of things had to get done before I could get on the plane on June 8.

At this point, I was excited and 87% confident about this decision, but I was also a bit of a wreck treading water in a sea of my own making (I might have had a full-blown anxiety attack in the middle of my pre-departure spa day pedicure…)

You could say my to-do list was my buoy. And I methodically and systematically worked my way through it, until my house was rented, my dog was settled into his six-month vacation with his grandma, and I was on the plane (complete with a very organized travel packet in my carry-on). And the six months that followed are a story for another day (though you can read the blog I kept while I was on my sabbatical).

What does any of this have to do with present-day PLUME (besides the obvious) and spring cleaning? Great question.

Despite having my best year business-wise in 2022 and looking, by all accounts, like a successful small business owner (complete with that now even cuter house thanks to a #rowhouserefresh and a second perfect dog),  I started 2023 feeling about the same way I did back in January of 2013: overwhelmed, exhausted, frustrated by a few things beyond my control, and completely unsure of what to do about it. 

I was teetering on the edge of the dreaded burnout.

Only this time, I knew running away somewhere beautiful to wander about for six months wasn’t really an option (though believe me, I was tempted and already trying to justify Capital CItizenne the Sequel in my brain…)  Instead, I knew I needed to sit in the discomfort and figure it out (ahh, personal growth!).  And since this time I was my own boss, I had the power to do just that.

Instead of shutting down and burning it all down, I pressed pause...and made a list.

I took advantage of the typically quiet winter months and gave myself permission to take a break and really dig into what was going on and see what I could do to fix it, hopefully without burning it all to the ground and hopping on a plane.

Ever the creature of habit, I did give myself two days at Keswick Hall - complete with a non-anxiety attack-inducing spa day - to kick start the whole process.

After some introspection, I started to realize that a big reason I was overwhelmed and uninspired was that my business, from my singular vantage point, was a hot mess of duplicative tech, halfhearted systems, and wobbly boundaries, not to mention lacking clear vision for the future. And contrary to the loudest voices in my corner of the Instagram universe, this wasn’t something a re-brand or a high ticket course or a shiny new piece of productivity tech was going to fix.

This was going to take some time, some elbow grease, and one massive to-do list.

I systematically went through every nook, cranny, closet, and cupboard of my business to see what I needed to keep, what needed to go, what needed re-organizing, and what, if anything, I was missing.

And I’ve spent the better part of the spring working my way through the list and, naturally, making a few new ones.

With a season of systematizing, learning, archiving, brainstorming, and organizing behind me, I’m emerging from my business spring cleaning feeling optimistic about my small-business life future, brimming with new ideas. And, for the first time in ages, feeling like I have the bandwidth to see them through to fruition!

Why am I sharing any of this?

In part because sometimes we need to be reminded of our origin story so we can use it as leverage when we are stuck and spinning our wheels.  I also thought it might be nice to mark the ten-year anniversary of my big leap with some reflections on the last decade and my adventure in small business ownership. 

But also, because I hope that maybe someone else out there who is either in that pre-pivot place, tempted to make a big, scary, and necessary change, or in that burnt-out, overextended tempted to burn it down and walk away phase or somewhere in between finds this, and feels a little more seen and understood.

And if you need someone to toss you a buoy or send a lifeboat, drop me a line, and let's chat.

I’m excited (and a little nervous) to be sharing a bit more about my life and my journey in small business ownership here. My hope is that over the next few months, I can share some stories that make you laugh (like that night I tried to ride a bicycle in Paris…) and some lessons learned that will help other creative entrepreneurs and small business owners, or at least make them feel a little less alone.